What Happened To Pat Stedman?

From: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mr4FLYYbT-Q&t=2s

What happened to Pat Stedman?

He is a New Jersey-based “dating strategist” that was recently arrested by the FBI thanks to his involvement in the Capitol riots:

I have been following Stedman for a while because I find his section of Twitter amusing, and have previously considered writing about some of the characters in that corner. There are many Twitter accounts that sell Ebooks and consultations claiming that they can help men do things like “become more masculine” or “reach their true potential.”

This isn’t particularly revolutionary, but I had noticed that many of these accounts skew towards Trump. These Twitter “gurus” praise Trump’s moves, denounce his enemies, and many even adopt some of Trump’s racist rhetoric.

Some were racist and misogynistic in the first place. One of the same individuals that ran in Stedman’s circle, who goes by the name “ROGUEWEALTH”, has gone out of his way to delete any of his tweets before January 12, 2021 — probably aware of how terrible they have aged. Many other “gurus” have been suspended, and others have been outed as complete frauds.

These are people that, for the most part, claimed that Trump was an “outsider”, or who consistently claimed that Trump was strategizing when he clearly wasn’t. Some of them fell into the predictable QAnon rabbit hole, while others chose to simply declare that Trump would win the election, almost daily, to rile up their audiences.

George Bruno used to tweet about some ridiculous pro-Trump material and also fell down the Q hole. His account is now completely suspended. Stedman and Bruno were part of the same circles. Here is a “21 Report” from two months ago, which features a conversation between Pat Stedman and George Bruno:

But again — who is Pat Stedman and what happened to him? Let’s hear it from Pat himself, in a speech from the 2019 “21 Convention.”

Stedman’s Story

He had a “beautiful girlfriend” in high school, and it “happened on its own.” Stedman claims that he was devastated by the breakup, and the book The Game ended up leading to an immense pivot, where he became a self-described pick-up artist that dated many different women.

Stedman later claimed that he soon found his wife, and decided to focus on how to deepen relationships, while also providing advice for single men trying to have a successful love life.

“It’s been a journey, it’s been about 11 years.” Pat Stedman is 32 now, so this relationship may have happened when he was about 21. Stedman claims that his fans have been asking him to write a book, but that he hasn’t yet been “inspired” to do so.

“I’m not quite ready to know what I want to write about, that I feel like it’s going to matter. It’s going to be dedicated to all those women because they are the best teachers.”Stedman says this on the “Sol Brah” podcast, “SolCast.”

Sol Brah is a part of this Twitter Guru circle and has expressed frustration on Twitter about those who have turned on Stedman. Here, he urges his followers to send positive energy Pat’s way:

In a ridiculous case of offering pretty obvious advice, SolBrah suggests that more people “keep it low profile g.” In the tweet before that, he said: “You will never regret telling the truth.” These vague tweets clearly suggest that Stedman was “right”, and SolBrah will continue to profit from wayward individuals who, on some level, believe they are a part of some QAnon RPG game where they are celebrated warriors against a cabal of pedophiles.

ROGUEWEALTH has more followers than Pat Stedman, and his bio implies that he is knowledgeable in “Systems. Sales. Synthwave.” He’s a more well-known Twitter Guru than most, and he offered that even if you disagree with Pat, you had to respect him.

These individuals are in a bit of an interesting situation when it comes to marketing to their followers. Since the vast majority of their audiences are men, they seem to recognize that disrespecting Pat after he got arrested by the FBI won’t really sit well with their audience. The only real move here is to offer some vague idea that Pat may have been a misguided hero, or a quixotic patriot that simply went a bit too far. For Pat to go this far down the rabbit hole, and risk what he risked — he at least had “skin in the game.”

Of course, this explanation is absolutely ridiculous.

The aforementioned Sol Brah was clearly under the same delusion. Here, in March 2020, he claimed that Trump could “cure cancer” and the “Mainstream Media” would find a way to criticize him for it. Trump, at the time, was downplaying a global pandemic that would go on to kill hundreds of thousands of Americans.

Another “guru” figure here, Coltybrah, stating that he still sees the “youth” in Donald Trump’s soul — AGAIN — while he is downplaying a pandemic that is killing Americans.

I could write articles about this entire circle of clowns in general, but the point here is to let the reader know that Stedman was part of an insular group: white men that urge their customers to take personal responsibility while the vast majority of them praise Trump and the neo-fascist actions that he took, time and time again.

Is Pat Stedman a complete madman? I’m sure that there are more unhinged QAnon supporters out there than Pat. He still aims to present himself as knowledgable, as you can see in this Youtube upload where he speaks about handling a woman’s moods. In this video, he talks about how men need to stop being “reactive” with respect to a woman expressing her emotions:

Pat Stedman’s reputation in this circle seems to be relatively intact. 21 Studios doubled down on their support of Pat, deciding to claim that he is the “world’s top relationship expert on hypergamy”, without forgetting to add that Stedman is a “proud American patriot.” Stedman retweeted the tweet.

Pat is a free man again, and his (formerly) pinned tweet urged followers to “Hold the light.”

The Bet

I wasn’t surprised when Pat Stedman got arrested. Is this because I had been watching his every move? No. It is because I am aware that Pat Stedman was so convinced that Donald Trump would win this election that he bet his entire life savings that it would happen.

This tweet is from December 4th:

When anyone dared to question his decision, he suggested that they should consider an “abundance mindset”, a phrase parroted by countless self-help coaches and courses.

Before his arrest, I didn’t look into whether Pat had a family. I figured that he did, since he was a self-described relationship strategist. He does. He was living with his wife and his daughter at his mother’s home when he was charged.

In fact, it was his former classmates that decided to notify the FBI that Stedman had been at the Capitol. I do remember that Stedman was there, and remember seeing several tweets bragging about his location, and suggesting that he was a part of something historic.

If you search “Pat Stedman” on Twitter, the second suggestion is “Pat Stedman bet.” See here:

Pat Stedman claimed that betting his entire life savings on Trump was “thrilling.” He was open about this fact with his followers and suggested that he would be a millionaire if he did win.

Here is Stedman, putting an exact number to the bet: $115,000.

On November 21, Pat Stedman suggested that anyone doubting his bet was a “loser.” He clapped back at @JackalopeTroll that once his bet was paid out, that he would be making more than they would make in a decade.

I do find it interesting that the tweet has zero retweets but 37 likes. It’s one of those subtle shifts in engagement that suggest that your followers might be trying to show support without being too obvious about it. After all, it was November 21st, 2020, at this point.

What is the point of featuring or screenshotting these tweets? Well, it proves Pat is a man that had literally decided to put his entire financial stability on the line in a belief that Donald Trump would win. This was more than just a political situation.

For Pat, this was some kind of “spiritual battle”, which is one of the reasons that many people who believed QAnon are likely waking up to the fact that they had been deceived.

It’s easy to justify your actions when you believe that this election wasn’t about Donald Trump or Joe Biden, but instead about “patriots vs pedophiles.”

Pat would tell people that they are “thinking too much in 3D”, and that this was really a battle over consciousness. But why gamble like this? Why couldn’t Stedman simply hope that Trump would win without betting such an insane amount of money on it? I have no clue. I don’t know if he has ever had a gambling problem, for example, which might help to explain his urge to take that risk.

When You’re The Expert

Why am I choosing to write about Pat Stedman? There are plenty of white men that may have misled their followers by bringing up “Q”, or suggesting that the election was “corrupt.”

Pat Stedman doesn’t have a giant audience. When Stedman appears on podcasts, they take several months to earn 1,000 views.

There are some influencers that may have larger audiences elsewhere, such as Patreon or Twitch. Destiny might upload videos that get hundreds of thousands of views on Youtube, but his influence was stronger because he was also partnered with Twitch. That is no longer the case, but Destiny can still reach a Youtube subscriber base of over 335,000.

Pat Stedman claims that he charges $500 a consultation, but his Youtube channel doesn’t have 500 subscribers. As of writing this article, Stedman had 203 subscribers. It’s a far cry from his Twitter following, but many of these “gurus” are often better at creating informative threads than speaking on a podcast or lecturing on a stage.

Stedman presents himself as the expert. What happens when you already believe that you have all the answers? Melissa Rein Lively has an interesting story as well. For those unaware, Lively went down the QAnon rabbit hole recently.

She used to work in PR, and her mental breakdown in a Target Store effectively ended her career in the sector. She’s attempted to rebrand, even enlisting the help of The Washington Post:

I was thinking that Lively probably paid the publication to be featured, and decided to ask the writer, Travis M. Andrews. He never responded to my DM in November:

There are plenty of QAnon-led individuals that believe in some sort of “epic battle” between good and evil, and Trump himself has signaled to them. However, Trump’s alliances are constantly shifting depends on whether an individual chooses to criticize him or not. The fact that QAnon thought they were different is because the entire scenario was clearly about more of a “spiritual struggle” than an election.

Pat has been assuring his followers that Trump would be elected after some time. Of course, there are many others that actually believed this. How do we know more about what Pat Stedman actually believed? Let’s examine his last Periscope.

The Last Periscope

Let’s establish a couple of things. First and foremost, all of this comes from the Periscope posted by Pat Stedman himself, on January 20th.

It is already obvious that he bragged to his followers that he was headed to the Capitol, but this last Periscope also offers some insight as to how Stedman tried to backpedal or perform some last-minute damage control regarding his credibility. Here is the Periscope in question, from January 20th:

I should give credit where it’s due: Stedman is back on Twitter as a free man, and doesn't seem to be backing down from much. I would expect many to backpedal a bit more in public, but maybe Stedman feels like he will be vindicated down the line.

At the end of the day, maybe he doesn’t care — maybe he hopes that his following will see the entire situation as Pat taking a principled stand and fighting for what he believed in.

There’s a lot to unpack here, and the Periscope is over an hour long. I’ll also be offering timestamps for convenience.

The Passion Of Pat

One of the reasons that Pat Stedman probably feels like he was justified in his actions is because he was passionate. This seems to be something that a lot of white men believe: they somehow thought that there would be an “energy shift” since there were so many of them that believed Trump SHOULD be President. It’s about a “right to the throne” with a lot of these people, rather than an election that the public decided.

Stedman makes it clear that he “still believes”, whatever that means. He points out that he knows that some of his followers will wonder how he is “still on board.” Pat’s passion may be what caused him to avoid so many logical conclusions on his journey here, but he still views it as one of his strengths. You might be able to question logic, but questioning passion can be more complicated.

“Cautious Celebration”

What happens when an influencer has been telling thousands of people, time after time, that Trump would be president? Well, he has to act as if he was taken by surprise. In fact, he might be better off pretending that EVERYONE is surprised. Pat does that here, acting as if the Democrats KNOW that they weren’t supposed to win.

He called the inauguration a “cautious celebration.” What made him believe that? Was it body language? Does he think that older politicians being tired at an inauguration somehow has a deeper meaning: that they expect Trump to return to power at any moment?

Pat has a hell of a confirmation bias: remember, he has sunk his savings into this venture. At the very least, he wants these people (again, who he believes is part of a “cabal”) to at least not LOOK like they won.

Maybe he’s used to the way Trump gloats over even his smallest victories. Maybe Pat knows what all is lost, but wants to give his followers a last hit of copium to help them transition. Regardless, he states: “I do not feel like they have power.”

Waffling Back

It is clear that Pat Stedman realizes that he was wrong about a lot of things. There were a lot of “signals” that weren’t really signals, and a lot of cryptic messages that essentially amounted to bullshit. He knows now that he has to offer that everything he says, from this point, is completely wrong.

He uses a lot of “maybe”, here. What does it look like? Well, in the Periscope, he offers up statements like “Maybe there will be a brief lull.” The idea here is that “Okay, Biden may have won, but there’s some bigger strategy at play.”

Several of his followers believe in the “ten days of darkness”, and that this refers to ten days of a Biden presidency, but Stedman doesn’t offer much more than “maybe.” It’s clear to him that he has to fall back from making precise statements of any kind.

Stedman shows a tremendous amount of resolve for a noble quest at some points. In other parts, he seems like a frustrated man who is trying to walk back some of his more outrageous claims over the past few months.

Seemingly out of nowhere, he switches: “This is a Communist takeover of the United States…which is why I’m not going to apologize for anything I’ve done.” (quite the departure from the initial apologetic tone of the Periscope).

The Enemy Changes

Stedman is in a bit of a bind, here. He has been urging his followers to “fight” for Trump, because the alternative would obviously be terrible. The problem now is that he is also meant to be a personal guru of sorts. He isn’t going to be able to lure in clients by claiming that life under Biden is complete hell. Who is going to want to consult with a dating coach if they truly believe that Communism, or the “end of times” is coming?

At 18:00, he tells the camera: “Their plan is to lock down the population permanently.” Does Pat even truly believe this?

Trump didn’t exactly go out with a bang…and many of the Q crowd hoped for, at the very least, an Assange pardon. That didn’t happen. However, Pat cannot sit there and admit that he now believes that Trump is compromised, especially after praising him for years. “He could’ve waged scorched Earth,” Pat sighs. It’s clear that he feels betrayed but doesn’t want to elaborate.

Stedman’s mind is occupied, and he is doing everything he can to offer bland blanket statements that MAY age well. His face is tired, his morale is low, and you can hear him say things like:

“I’m sorry if you FEEL misled.”

“We did not agree to this, so what is this?” — An interesting and privileged take on it. I am a white man, and I believe this election was stolen, so what possible result could this be? He acts as if he doesn’t “honor” the election results.

“Mercury, retrograde….I don’t give a fuck about that stuff anymore.” Stedman says this, but he definitely cared enough to upload a ridiculous conversation with an astrologer by the name of Paul Publisher.

It’s convenient to notice that Stedman suddenly doesn’t believe in “the stars” now that Biden is president. In the video, Publisher offers up a bunch of complete bullshit, and it’s almost insufferable to watch or hear. It is, still, somewhat funny to watch if you feel like watching desperate MAGA manosphere influencers grasp at straws in the stars.

Who’s the enemy now? Is it the stars? Is it still a cabal of some kind? Is it the betting service that he bet on? Pat clearly knows that using deadlines as ultimatums have obliterated his credibility, but he can still say things like “It doesn’t feel like they have power”, and act as if that’s a meaningful statement of some kind. He says. “In my soul, my heart of hearts, I feel nothing.”

He NOW focuses on the fact that the Democrats will misstep, offering up hope by saying: “They are going to overstep, and I think that energy is going to return.”

“All I can hope for is their hubris.”

Did He Know?

There’s also another aspect to the Periscope that is quite obvious: Pat is either paranoid about something in the sky or looking at some sort of helicopter or drone that is clearly following him. This shouldn’t come as much of a surprise considering that he was arrested after the video, but he actually seems like he knows they are coming.

At 31:25, for example, he looks back. “I feel like something is going to happen.” Ten seconds later, he looks back in a similar fashion.

At 28:00, he offers this somber statement, comparing his recent experiences to a movie: “Yeah, a movie that lasts too long and ends kind of black.”

Let’s spare with those statements, though. If you feel like I’m exaggerating, then make sure to check around the 32:00 mark. Stedman holds the line, stating firmly: “I do not feel any sovereignty of them over me. Maybe the FBI comes to my door, and they throw me on the ground, they put their foot on my face. But I don’t have any fear of these people. I don’t consent to it. None of us consent to it.”

Around 55:50, Stedman makes it clear that he is trying to get his family out of the country. Is this the reason that the FBI decided to move in? He spoke previously about his apartment in Poland at around 38:00 and his plans to move there. At one point in the Periscope, he assures a follower that he will still be offering his dating coach services from Poland.


In his bio, Pat Stedman claims that he “reads people like books.” However, it’s clear that Stedman’s own hubris has now cost him his life savings and his credibility. What kind of relationship coach gets caught up in the Capitol riots? Why did he choose to bet over six figures on a Trump presidency, and what was it about Trump that drew him in?

Politicians have an agenda when it comes to supporting Trump. There are billionaires that want to have relationships with Trump for financial reasons, and world leaders jockey for the attention of any president. Why did Pat Stedman, time and time again, seem to put it all on the line for this man?

Was it the bet that caused it? Why did it become more than an election? Why was it a “test of faith”?

Why didn’t Stedman take better precautions? This tweet from 2017 makes it seem like he should’ve known better:

Why couldn’t Stedman recognize his own confirmation bias? He didn’t “FEEL” Biden would win because he realized that he would’ve wasted the past ten months rallying up people for nothing?

I don’t have answers for you. I do know that people like Pat Stedman will probably be fine because the Twitter manosphere section was never really about integrity anyway.

It’s about well-worded tweets, E-books, blogs, and threads that lead to mailing lists that lead to emailing you twice a week about how you aren’t REALLY the best potential “you.”

Pat doesn’t seem too worried about the future, and one of the more well-known “Manosphere” influencers, Andrew Tate, backed him up. He claims that anyone who criticizes Stedman now is a coward and that he has “100K in Bitcoin” for Pat:

This is about more than Pat, it’s about people like Pat. This is one of the reasons that I checked the Periscope to figure out what his followers were thinking. Some were thanking Pat, stating that they had learned from him despite whatever happens, while others were hoping for a “10-day Biden scenario.”

Some comments were vengeful, pointing out that America still has “400 million guns.” There were reflections like: “This movement was beyond Trump” that attempted to soften the “betrayal” of the former president. One user suggested that they needed to “learn Russian.” Others asked Pat to seek mental help, or that people should “vote local elections only.”

Pat didn’t have to think about “5D timelines” or believe that it was about “patriots vs pedophiles.” He doesn’t really seem to care that his life savings are gone, or that he was arrested. Stedman claimed in his Periscope that he would “focus on work,” but how possible is that?

He throws out some blame, and not just to Trump. Stedman feels like the events of January 6th “hijacked the movement”, and he genuinely seems to believe that “the system is collapsing.” Why couldn’t Stedman see that it was actually his own financial stability that he was risking?

Why did this become about God and Satan for Pat? Here, he defends a deranged individual who believes that Trump just “betrayed” him. That person is Roosh V, a blogger known for his alt-right ties and being a former PUA (pick up artist).

I don’t know what made Pat follow this course, but I do know that plenty of men feel like Stedman. Biden might be in office, but there are angry white men that truly believe that America will be “socialist” or “communist” now. It might be absurd, but it’s an issue the country will have to address in the near future.

Stedman often delivers speeches in a calm cadence. Let’s examine his “3 Pillars Of Attraction” speech in 2020, which boasts over 22,000 views. It’s Stedman’s most-viewed video on Youtube:

The real gem, however, is at around 3:55:

“I started to go a little bit new-age. I was very curious about how deep could I go down that rabbit hole of trying to explore yourself, and figure it out. I learned some interesting things from them. I thought that maybe they had the truth…but when I spent a lot of time with them out in California…I found that wasn’t the case.”

At 5:20, he talks about how he took the information that he learned in the “Manosphere.” “I found very quickly that for some people, asking questions was not what you were allowed to do.”

Why couldn’t he see that QAnon operated the same way?

At 6:00, he switches his cadence.

“I’m not into all this pill stuff. I’m just a guy, who thinks, who tries to figure stuff out…who is looking for the truth.”

I write about business, finance, technology, art, and culture. Featured in The Startup, Level, Data-Driven Investor, Med Daily, and more. neilmathew85@gmail.com

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store